Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) beantwortet  | | Datum: | 15:35 Sa 21.05.2005 | | Autor: | stone-d |
Hallo
wir schreiben am Dienstag eine Arbeit über das Taschenbuch Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Ich habe hier ein paar Texte geschrieben, vielleicht könntet ihr die mal nach Fehlern durch gucken. Vielleicht hat auch einer von euch das Buch in der Schule behandelt und kann noch waas hinzufügen, wäre echt dankbar.
Der Text:
Dr Jekyll
The story is about Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Dr Jekyll was a good student. He was interested in nature so he became a scientist. His future was assured. Nowadays he lives in a big house on his own accept of his butler. He wants the people to suggest that he is a noble person but his friends Utterson and Lanyon think he is a little bit mysterious.
Mr Hyde
Mr Hyde is a little man who looks like a devil. He looks very dangerous. One night Mr Hyde is attended because he hit a girl. Enfield watch the situation and told this his cousin Utterson.
On the first view, they have nothing in common. But accidentally Utterson have found out that Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde have something to do with each other.
The connection
Many years ago Dr Jekyll discovered that he had a dark side in his character. He wants to look like a noble person. At first it was interesting for him to be two persons in one body, because he felt younger and happier. To change he has to drink a medicine. It doesnt matter if he wants to go to the white or dark side. It gets more and more difficult to receive the white site. So he has to decide for one character, Dr Jekyll or Mr Hyde. He chose Jekyll. But after two months Dr Jekyll long for the free life of Mr Hyde, so he drank the medicine again. But then the situation got out of control, than he kill as Mr Hyde a man. So he tries to live his free and younger life as Dr Jekyll. But it is too late. Now he neednt the medicine to change, it happen einfach so. So he needs the help of Lanyon to change his character. He told him the whole story how he became Hyde. At the end it is no longer possible to change to be Dr Jekyll. So Mr Hyde locks up himself and Dr Jekyll together in is room. He makes his butler to be his messenger, and orders the ingredients for his medicine. Utterson and Poole tries to open the door of his room and he gets in to panic. So he kills himself as Mr Hyde.
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(Antwort) fertig  | | Datum: | 19:49 So 22.05.2005 | | Autor: | WOWY |
So.... dann versuch ich dir mal zu helfen... Ich hab das Buch zwar nicht gelesen, aber ich kann dir mal so einige grundlegende Dinge verbessern.
> Hallo
>
> wir schreiben am Dienstag eine Arbeit über das Taschenbuch
> Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Ich habe hier ein paar Texte
> geschrieben, vielleicht könntet ihr die mal nach Fehlern
> durch gucken. Vielleicht hat auch einer von euch das Buch
> in der Schule behandelt und kann noch waas hinzufügen, wäre
> echt dankbar.
>
> Der Text:
> Dr Jekyll
> The story is about Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Dr Jekyll was a
> good student. He was interested in nature so he became a
> scientist. His future was assured. Nowadays he lives in a
> big house on his own accept of his butler. He wants the
> people to suggest that he is a noble person but his friends
> Utterson and Lanyon think he is a little bit mysterious.
>
Als erstes solltest du deine Inhaltsangaben und Charakterisierungen im Präsens schreiben. Wenn du dann dabei irgendetwas beschreiben willst, was VOR der eigentlichen Handlung passiert ist, musst du Perfekt benutzen.
> Mr Hyde
> Mr Hyde is a little man who looks like a devil. He looks
> very dangerous. One night Mr Hyde is attended because he
> hit a girl. Enfield watch the situation and told this his
> cousin Utterson.
>
Hier wäre z.B. so ein Fall... Mr Hyde ist besucht worden, weil er wahrscheinlich VORHER ein Mädchen geschlagen hat (korrigier mich, wenns falsch ist), also müsste es heißen: Mr Hyde is attended because he has hit a girl.
> On the first view, they have nothing in common. But
> accidentally Utterson have found out that Dr Jekyll and Mr
> Hyde have something to do with each other.
>
> The connection
> Many years ago Dr Jekyll discovered that he had a dark
> side in his character. He wants to look like a noble
> person. At first it was interesting for him to be two
> persons in one body, because he felt younger and happier.
> To change he has to drink a medicine. It doesnt matter
> if he wants to go to the white or dark side. It gets more
> and more difficult to receive the white site. So he has to
> decide for one character, Dr Jekyll or Mr Hyde. He chose
> Jekyll. But after two months Dr Jekyll long for the free
> life of Mr Hyde, so he drank the medicine again.
Dr Jekyll longs... das s net vergessen bei der 3. Person
> But then
> the situation got out of control, than he kill as Mr Hyde a
> man.
Was willst du mit dem Satz sagen? Versteh ihn gerade nicht.
> So he tries to live his free and younger life as Dr
> Jekyll.
younger life? meinst du sein vorheriges Leben? ... das würde nämlich recen t life heißen.
> But it is too late. Now he neednt the medicine to
> change, it happen einfach so.
Now he needen´t take the medicine... müsste es heißen
> So he needs the help of
> Lanyon to change his character.
Ich nehme an, Lanyon ist ein Name? ... dann muss es nämlich Lanyon´s help heißen
> He told him the whole story
> how he became Hyde. At the end it is no longer possible to
> change to be Dr Jekyll. So Mr Hyde locks up himself and Dr
> Jekyll together in is room. He makes his butler to be his
> messenger, and orders the ingredients for his medicine.
> Utterson and Poole tries to open the door of his room and
> he gets in to panic.
Vorsicht hier: Utterson and Poole sind 2 Personen, also try
> So he kills himself as Mr Hyde.
>
Vorallem hier musst du mit den Zeiten aufpassen... Du kannst nicht einfach von einer zu der anderen Zeit springen.
Dein Satz: "To change he has to drink.... " weiß net ob das falsch ist, aber ich würde eher schreiben: When/If he wants to change...
Überarbeite den Text doch nochmal, vorallem die Zeiten und stelle ihn doch nochmal hier rein. Dann kann ich nochmal drüber schauen.
Hoffe, ich konnte dir helfen. LG
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig  | | Datum: | 17:44 Mo 23.05.2005 | | Autor: | stone-d |
Vielen Dank! Mein Freund, der etwas (oder viel) besser in Englisch ist als ich, hat sich eben den Text noch mal angesehen, und hat noch mal ein paar Fehler entdeckt. Sonst war alles okay. Noch mal, VIELEN DANK!
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