Korrektur < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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Schon wieder ich, wenn jemand so nett ist und diesen Text korrigieren könnte, wäre das sehr hilfreich! Danke
NEWSPAPER ARTICLE The growing of violence among teenagers?
We cannot deny that there werent any scraps if we were young, but it might be true if we maintain that there are more aggressive teenagers that search for fights today.
What have changed in the last 30 years? What are the reasons for the growing of violence among teenagers?
One reason might be that parents have no time for their children. These parents work all day long and if they are at home they dont want to educate their children. Nowadays even women prefer their careers and give their children to childminders. (Many of todays teenagers dont know their parents very well.)
But some single parents get forced to let their children alone (at home) because they have to work to survive. There are only a few subsidies for single parents. [So all in one teenagers are more violent because they are not well educated.]
Furthermore, many teenagers of today are educated anti-authoritarian. Parents let their children do what they want. They are free to do as one pleases and so they dont know where are the limits.
Another significant point is that todays teenagers grow up WITH? violence. If you turn on (the) TV, you may not find any channel that is free of violence. Even the news show terror and violence all over the world. Teenagers are influenced by (the) media, above all by (the) TV.
Another aspect is that teenagers have no perspectives. Because of the high unemployment figures, many young people dont find a job or a place to train. Some teenagers band together to groups and use forces because of boredom.
In conclusion (the) violence among teenagers will still increase if the government wont do something against (the unemployment and if parents dont educate their children.
There might be many other reasons for the growing of violence but discussing all of them would go beyond the limits of this article.
Ich habe diese Frage auch in folgenden Foren auf anderen Internetseiten gestellt Englisch-Forum.de
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Hallo,
little.bubbl
Ich selbst kann kein gutes Englisch, aber einige Fehler habe ich entdeckt:
Einen habe ich in den Klammern erkannt [So, all in one teenagers are...
Den hier kapier ich nicht: Another significant point is that todays teenagers grow up WITH? violence.
Es heißt doch: Another significant point is that todays teenagers grow up with violence.
Der hört sich besser mit "-ing" an:
Even the news is showing terror and violence over the whole world.
Sonst erkenn ich keine.
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Hallo!
Ich habe noch ein paar Korrekturvorschläge für dich :)
Aber lies sie dir nochmal mit Sinn und Verstand durch, manchmal musste ich etwas überlegen. Manches sind auch einfach Formulierungsvorschläge.
Der erste Satz ist mir übrigends ein Rätsel... was sind "scraps"? Ich finde das in keinem Wörterbuch und für mich ergibt der Satz ohne das Wort leider keinen Sinn...
We cannot deny that there werent any scraps when we were young, but it might be true if we maintain that there are more aggressive teenagers that search for fights today.
What has changed in the last 30 years? What are the reasons for the growing of violence among teenagers?
One reason might be that parents have no time for their children. These parents work all day long and if they are at home they dont want to educate their children. Nowadays even women prefer their careers and give their children to childminders. (Many of todays teenagers dont know their parents very well.)
But some single parents get forced to let their children alone (at home) because they have to work to survive. There are only a few subsidies for single parents. [So all in one teenagers are more violent because they are not well educated.]
Furthermore, many of today's teenagers are educated anti-authoritarian. Parents let their children do what they want. They are free to do as one pleases and so they dont know where their limits are.
Another significant point is that todays teenagers grow up with violence. If you turn on the TV, you may not find any channel that is free of violence. Even the news show terror and violence all over the world. Teenagers are influenced by the media, above all by (the) TV.
Another aspect is that teenagers have no perspectives. Because of the high unemployment figures, many young people dont find a job or a place to train. Some teenagers band together to groups and use violence because of boredom /they are bored.
In conclusion violence among teenagers will still increase if the government doesn't do something against unemployment and if parents dont educate their children/spend time with their children/ care about their children.
There might be many other reasons for the growing of violence but discussing all of them would go beyond/exceed the limits of this article.
Liebe Grüße, Lilith
ähm, ich hab mal eingegeben, dass die Antwort noch Fehlerhaft ist, da mir wie gesagt der erste Satz noch ein Rätsel ist, aber das Forum fordert mich auf die Antwort zu überarbeiten, also wähle ich jetzt mal die Option "Dieser Artikel ist fertig"... Es darf natürlich trotzdem noch wer weitere Fehler korrigieren.
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vielen dank!!
scraps hab ich im WB unter Rauferei gefunden....is anscheinend net so gut...
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