Ordentlichen Essay schreiben < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) reagiert/warte auf Reaktion  | | Datum: | 19:40 So 11.05.2008 | | Autor: | ha3 |
| Aufgabe | | Schreibe einen Essay über: Free Tibet |
Hallo!
Ich muss einen Essay in Engisch über Tibet schreiben. Da dieser Bewertet wird, ich schlecht in Englisch bin und mein Schuljahr davon abhängt, wollte ich ihn zuert noch von externen Personen lesen lasse. Für eine Korrektur der Fehler und Verbesserungsvorschläge wäre ich sehr dankbar.
Danke! Ich habe diese Frage in keinem Forum auf anderen Internetseiten gestellt.
Free Tibet
With the Chinese invasion in 1950 has began a time with terror and violence for the tibetian population. Also 48 years later is Tibet a dangerous place where the people fight for their rights. Their wish is a free tibet with an own government and a live under the umbrella of the Dalai Lama. But is it possbile for Tibet to have a live without the red dragoun in their back?
For the Chinese is it sure. Tibet is a part of China and will it be also for the future. This upland has a lot of very important commodities which are helpful to disclose Chinas dream of a global power. But why is Tibet not proud to be a part of this dream? What is more important, a global player with the skills to adduce the world or a little land with the hope of freedom? What is with the Olympic Games? One of the most important events in the world with million viewers. This is also the ground for the demonstrations, not only in Tibet but also around the world. For the choked land it is important to cause a sensation. To abort this move, the red dragoun fights with arms again the popolation. Also for the presidents of other nations is nearly impossible to speak with the communist regime. China is also again a conversation with the Dalai Lama and incriminate him to be the dealer of the move for the self - determination.
In conclusion, it is clear that there are two contrasting points of view on this topic. For Tibet is the freedom very important and it has also the aid of a lot of people oround the world. China but need this land firstly, for the commodities, secondly, for the tourism, and finally for Chinas dream.
Personally, I feel that the tibetian population has the right for the self - determination or at least the right for a good autonomy. These two differing points of view seem impossible to reconcile, and therefore, debate will continue to rage.
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Hallo ha3, ![[willkommenvh]](/images/smileys/willkommenvh.png "[willkommenvh]")
Ich habe deinen Text sprachlich mal durchgeschaut. An einigen Stellen holperts nicht nur sprachlich sondern auch inhaltlich etwas. Am Besten nachgeschlagenes Vokabular nicht ohne Kenntnis des Kontexts verwenden. Ich hoffe es hilft.
Free Tibet
With the Chinese invasion in 1950, a time of terror and violence has begun (SATZSTELLUNG:S-P-O!) for the Tibetan(ländernamen bzw. deren adjektive GROß) population. 48 years later, Tibet is (S-P-O) still a dangerous place where the people fight for their rights. Their wish is a free Tibet with an own (sovereign?=souverän) government and a life (life-lives,wolf-wolves
etc) under the umbrella (was willst du damit sagen? präziser: Dalai lama=Schutz?Staatsoberhaupt?) of the Dalai Lama . But is it possbile for Tibet to have a life without the Red Dragon on its back?
From the Chinese point of view the situation is clear. Tibet is a part of China and still will be in the future. The Tibetan upland has a lot of very important commodities to offer which are helpful to make Chinas dream of becoming a global power come true. But why is Tibet not proud of being part of this dream? [Inhaltlich ist hier ein Bruch.]
What is more important, a global player with the ability to lead the world or a small country with the hope of freedom? What is with the Olympic Games, one of the most important events in the world with millions of viewers? They (the Olympic Games) are the reason for the demonstrations, not only in Tibet but also in many places around the world. For the oppressed country it is important to gain publicity. To prevent Tibet from executing this move, the Red Dragon uses arms, even against civilians population. For presidents of other nations it is nearly impossible to get in touch with(=kontakt aufnehmen mit) the communist regime. China is also again a conversation with the Dalai Lama and incriminate him to be the dealer of the move for the self - determination. (??? Was willst du damit auf deutsch sagen?!)
In conclusion, it is clear that there are two contrasting points of view on this topic. For Tibet the freedom, that could be achieved with the support(=Unterstützung) of many people around the world, is very important, whereas China needs Tibet due to(=aufgrund) its commodities and its valuable(=wertvoll) tourism industry.
Personally, I do (zur verstärkung/bekräftigung) think that the Tibetan population has a right to self-determination, a right to autonomy. The two differing points of view(mentioned before/above) seem impossible to reconcile, and therefore, the debate will (certainly) continue.
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(Frage) beantwortet  | | Datum: | 14:46 Mo 12.05.2008 | | Autor: | ha3 |
Danke für deine Unterstützung.
1)Their wish is a free Tibet with an own (sovereign?=souverän) government and a life (life-lives,wolf-wolves
etc) under the umbrella (was willst du damit sagen? präziser: Dalai lama=Schutz?Staatsoberhaupt?) of the Dalai Lama .
Damit will ich sagen, unter dem Schutz des Dalai Lama.
2)China is also again a conversation with the Dalai Lama and incriminate him to be the dealer of the move for the self - determination. (??? Was willst du damit auf deutsch sagen?!)
Damit will ich sagen dass der Dalai Lama von den Chinesen verurteilt wird der Führer der Bewegung für die Selbstbestimmung zu sein.
3)But why is Tibet not proud of being part of this dream? [Inhaltlich ist hier ein Bruch.]
Könnte ich hier so schreiben:
But why is Tibet not proud of being part of this dream? Particullary the Olympic Games, one of the most important events in the world with millions of viewers is a big chanche to represent this new united power.
Der Text würde dann wie folgt aussehen:
Free Tibet!
With the Chinese invasion in 1950, a time of terror and violence has begun for the Tibetan population. 48 years later, Tibet is still a dangerous place where people fight for their rights. Their wish is a free Tibet with an own sovereign government and a life under Dalai Lamas protection. But is it possible for Tibet to have a life without the Red Dragon on its back?
From the Chinese point of view the situation is clear. Tibet is a part of China and still will be in the future. The Tibetan upland has a lot of very important commodities to offer which are helpful to make Chinas dream of becoming a global power come true. But why is Tibet not proud of being part of this dream? Particularly the Olympic Games, one of the most important events in the world with millions of viewers is a big chance to represent this new united power. They are the reason for the demonstrations, not only in Tibet but also in many places around the world. For the oppressed country it is important to gain publicity. To prevent Tibet from executing this move, the Red Dragon uses arms, even against civilians. For presidents of other nations it is nearly impossible to get in touch with the communist regime. China is also again a conversation with the Dalai Lama and incriminates him to be the dealer of the demonstrations again the Chinese regime.
In conclusion, it is clear that there are two contrasting points of view on this topic. For Tibet the freedom, that could be achieved with the support of many people around the world, is very important, whereas (bedeutung bitte erklären) China needs Tibet due to its commodities and its valuable tourism industry.
Personally, I do think that the Tibetan population has a right to self-determination, a right to autonomy. The two differing points of view seem impossible to reconcile, and therefore, the debate will certainly continue.
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Hi ha3,
Hier sind meine sprachlichen Verbesserungen. Hoffentlich rettets das Schuljahr 
Free Tibet!
With the Chinese invasion in 1950, a time of terror and violence has begun for the Tibetan population. 48 years later, Tibet is still a dangerous place where people fight for their rights. Their wish is a free Tibet with an own sovereign government and a life under the protection of the Dalai Lama. But is it possible for Tibet to have a life without the Red Dragon on its back?
From the Chinese point of view the situation is clear. Tibet is a part of China and still will be in the future. The Tibetan upland has a lot of very important commodities to offer which are helpful to make Chinas dream of becoming a global power come true. But why is Tibet not proud of being part of this dream? (Tipp:Absatz, da du auf die Frage nicht eingehst)
Particularly the Olympic Games, one of the most important events in the world with millions of viewers are a big chance for China to represent itself as a unified country (=ein geeintes Land). They (the Olympic Games) are the reason for the demonstrations, not only in Tibet but also in many places around the world. For the oppressed country, it is important to gain publicity. To prevent Tibet from executing this move, the Red Dragon uses arms, even against civilians. For presidents of other nations it is nearly impossible to get in touch with the communist regime. China is also against a conversation with the Dalai Lama since they consider him to be the be the head of the Tibetan movement for autonomy/self-determination and hence the cause of the unrest (=da sie ihn für den Kopf der tibetischen Unabhängigkeitsbewegung halten und somit für die Ursache der Unruhen).
In conclusion, it is clear that there are two contrasting points of view on this topic. For Tibet the freedom, that could be achieved with the support of many people around the world, is very important, whereas (bedeutung bitte erklären=wohingegen) China needs Tibet due to its commodities and its valuable tourism industry.
Personally, I do think that the Tibetan population has a right to self-determination, a right to autonomy. The two differing points of view seem impossible to reconcile, and therefore, the debate will certainly continue.
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(Frage) überfällig  | | Datum: | 18:54 Di 13.05.2008 | | Autor: | ha3 |
Habe heute den Text mal zur Vorkontrolle gezeigt und es hat eigentlich das meiste gepasst. Bis dahin mal DANKE! Jedoch sollte ich noch das Thema von Seiten Tibets besser erläutern. Könnte ich es so schreiben?
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... since they consider him to be the be the head of the Tibetan movement for autonomy and hence the cause of the unrest. For Tibet but is it not important to be a part of this dream, a part of China. Tibet will only that China leave them in peace, to let them their natural freedom. The red dragon must stop to colonize Tibet with Chinese settlers an must allow Tibetans to hold responsible positions in the government of Tibet. Tibetans must take full authority for the economic and save the interests of Tibetan workers and farmers. China must stop to destroy the ecosystem of that rich land. In conclusion, it is clear that there are two contrasting points of view on this topic...
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig  | | Datum: | 19:20 Fr 16.05.2008 | | Autor: | matux |
$MATUXTEXT(ueberfaellige_frage)
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